Stanford University
“What matters to you, and why?”
What matters to me is my family, they mean the world to me. The support I get from them is very high and they motivate me every day. They strive me with my sports, school, and at home. What matters to me is my football coaches. Because they motivate me to come a better man and to become a better person in life so I can come succsessful. My coaches tell me how life will go and how I should get better every day. They tell me to catch the ball every day. I want to come to a better person because not everybody in life can go to college. Not everyone can become successful. I want to separate myself from everyone who is on the same page as me as size, academics, skill, and try to push myself to outwork them and to become better than them.
Mentality is the word that comes to my mind when I play football. It gives me a motivation that no one else has. It tells me that whatever my body can't do my mind will. My mentality tells matters because that's what everyone has. We all have a type of mentality that no one knows. Our mind is something that no one can get into. If someone's mind is thinking negative I have to think positive. If my opponent is negative from the start, I know I've already won. I know that when I'm working out with my team and my coach tells us we have to do more than the usual I will go more than the usual because it's what my mind tells me .
My effort matters to me because its something no one can judge, effort brings me to a level that I never been to. My effort describes me because I try to push my self everytime, I may make some mistakes but I will learn from it. My effort strides me to go another mile, to write another essay, to do all of my chores every day. Effort tells me how I will become a better man.
My coaches motivate me to go another round. They get in my head to help me get better or to tell me I have to pick it up. Football matters a lot to me because it can take me a long way in college and it can take me to a whole nother level. My mentality and my effort will take me on a journey to college and to a successful life
Mentality is the word that comes to my mind when I play football. It gives me a motivation that no one else has. It tells me that whatever my body can't do my mind will. My mentality tells matters because that's what everyone has. We all have a type of mentality that no one knows. Our mind is something that no one can get into. If someone's mind is thinking negative I have to think positive. If my opponent is negative from the start, I know I've already won. I know that when I'm working out with my team and my coach tells us we have to do more than the usual I will go more than the usual because it's what my mind tells me .
My effort matters to me because its something no one can judge, effort brings me to a level that I never been to. My effort describes me because I try to push my self everytime, I may make some mistakes but I will learn from it. My effort strides me to go another mile, to write another essay, to do all of my chores every day. Effort tells me how I will become a better man.
My coaches motivate me to go another round. They get in my head to help me get better or to tell me I have to pick it up. Football matters a lot to me because it can take me a long way in college and it can take me to a whole nother level. My mentality and my effort will take me on a journey to college and to a successful life
Good way of portraying what matters to you. Make sure to capitalize your "i's", and to put commas where it is needed. Try not to have incomplete sentences, or run-ons. I like how you answered the prompt well and put good supporting details as to why it matters to you.
ReplyDeleteThe first sentence in your essay could have better grammar. Also you didn't really explain why your family matters to you, yeah they buy you things but what's the deeper meaning behind why your family matters to you. As well as for character I would add more detail and an expierence to strength your essay. But overall I liked how there was discussion and reflection after each thing you said that matters to you.
ReplyDeleteJavon. Fix some of your errors. Make the "i" capitalized, most of them are lower cased. I feel like you explained more of what you want to do and become in the future, rather than what matters to you and WHY it matters as of now. You also jump around a lot from "what matters to me is my family" to talking about what you're going to do in college. I feel like this would've matched a prompt like "why do you want to go to this college" (which is an actual prompt but I forgot for which college lol). Anyways, good job in getting to the point in your essay. It was clear and easy to understand and you concluded it nicely.
ReplyDelete