Monday, October 24, 2016

Coming Of age

Growing up I was one of those Rascal kids who thought everything was so simple
And i got a lot of licken’s because i didn't really know what was going on and i used to always make trouble and cry all the time. My parents asked me if i wanted to join any sports and I told them that I didn't want to play any sports because i was scared of failing or getting hurt. But my parents knew i had something in me. They made me try out for flag football. My parents told me to just try my best. I was about 7 years old at that time and i didn't really know what was happening. When I had my first football game i stepped on the field at ewa. I looked at my opponents and they were 5 times my size. My dad put me with the big boys so he could toughen me up.  I was so scared that i would make excuses that i didn't want to play but my parents would make me play anyway. I got runned over mostly every time I tried to go in. My dad told me to never give up and stop being so scared. So i listen to him and tried harder and i finally got in there and pulled the flag . My dad was so proud of me.


Finally flag football season ended and my dad asked me if i want to go play tackle and the second he asked me i immediately said “no”. He kept motivating me to play because he said that failure is not what brings you down is pushes us to get up and keep fighting. He got me to try out for tackle football and I did. The coach put me in as the d line and i've been getting tackles all game. I knew i was strong enough to be the person i can be and i knew that God would always be  on my side



       Growing up i went to highschool and i wanted to play football for the Moanalua high school team and i had to get bigger and stronger. My dad told me that football would be much harder and he told me that i had to pick up my strength.

      


Joining moanalua football is great because it changed my life and it helped me set my goals for my future. It taught me that football is important and it can make my life successful. i want to continue my journey in football and see when football takes me after high school. I look forward to playing football in college if i really want it all i have to do is work hard.

4 comments:

  1. Overall I like the message behind your essay. I recommend capitalizing the "i" in your entire of essay. The sentence was when your dad tells you that failure is not what brings you down is pushes us to get up and keep fighting. I also recommend that you reflect more on what this taught you and what you learned from it.

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  2. Good story to your essay. Make sure in your final to capitalize the "i" in your essays. Also check your grammar in your essay. Other than that your essay was good.

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  3. Your opening sentence makes it very easy to know the point behind this essay. The structure and sentence fluency made sense and was understandable. But you need to capitalize the "i"'s in your essay and you need a few more sentences on your third paragraph. Overall, your essay was good.

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  4. YOUR ESSAY HAS VERY LITTLE REFLECTION AND THE REFLECTION THAT YOU HAVE WHICH IS IN THE VERY END IS NOT COMPLETELY EXPLAINED. YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN AND REFLECT THROUGHOUT YOUR ESSAY WHILE YOU DISCUSS THE EVENT SO THAT WE DONT JUST READ ABOUT IT VERY QUICKLY AT THE END. TELL US ABOUT WHO YOU WERE IN THE BEGINNING OF YOU ESSAY AND THEN REFLECT ON HOW YOU ARE NOW IN THE END. AS(1+)

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